Finding Favor – How to be a Gracious Host(ess) and a Welcomed Guest
In nearly 47 years of ministry worldwide, Gail and I have found amazing favor wherever we have gone. I cannot remember a time or place we have ever been turned away or not been asked to return. This is certainly a result of God’s favor. It has opened many doors for relationships and ministry that continue to this day.
Favor is a biblical word which is often translated “grace” (GK=charis). We typically define grace as the unmerited favor of God: we haven’t done anything to deserve it, and there isn’t a thing we can do to earn it. Grace is a free gift that keeps on giving. That being understood, there are things we can do to position ourselves for favor. Certain behavior and conditions will attract favor. Do these things and favor will find you.
“Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will find favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.” Pro.3:3,4NIV
We see in this scripture the law of cause and effect at work: every choice or action produces a result; whatever we sow we will reap. When we practice love and faithfulness towards others, we reap the rewards of favor (kindness; good will) from others. This principal is in our control. It is reflected by many choices we make every day.
Joseph (OT) was a man who found favor (or maybe favor found him). He had a special gift (dream interpreter), and his faithfulness brought him before men of influence. Daniel is another example of a life marked by favor. His wisdom and integrity created a path of favor, which positioned him in high places of authority. The favor these men, and others like them, encountered ultimately served God’s purpose. One thing I learn from this proverb (3:3) is, although favor is initiated by God for His purposes, there are actions we can take and attitudes we embrace that help us FIND His favor. I choose these attitudes and actions.
Favor can be increased in our lives deliberately. “Jesus grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and men.” Favor wasn’t conferred on Jesus because He was God’s perfect Son. He had to grow into it as he grew into His human body. There is an element of good works that produces favor in our lives.
Two important ways Gail and I have grown to find favor is in the roles of Host(ess) and Guest. These are more than titles. They are descriptive functions for how we interact with other people. My appearance, intellect, sanguine personality, station in life, or popularity has little to do with being a good Host or Guest. It is more about developing good people skills.
A Host(ess) is simply one who receives guests; a Guest is a person invited to visit, stay, or participate in an event.
The one word I associate with being an exceptional Host(ess) is HONOR. A good Host(ess) knows how to value and serve people without partiality. A Guest will feel like the most important person in the room. From this honor flows excellence, kindness, generosity, deference, creativity, and other similar characteristics attributed to hospitality.
Consider Esther (OT), who was a perfect hostess. As queen, she entertained King Ahasuerus with poise and grace. She even received her mortal enemy at the same table and treated him with dignity. Her impressions as a hostess opened the heart of the king to grant her request and ultimately saved a nation.
Here are some tips for being an exceptional HOST(ESS):
- Learn as much as possible about your Guest and their life before they arrive.
- Offer the best of what you have and serve with excellence.
- When possible, accommodate any special requests your Guests may have.
- Make necessary introductions and explain the “unknown” to your Guest.
- When receiving multiple Guests, make time to be attentive and considerate of each.
The one word I would use to describe an extraordinary Guest is HUMILITY. A humble person has no expectation of special honor because of title, position, affluence, or notoriety. They would ordinarily take the lower seat before self-promotion. A humble person shrinks away from public recognition and doesn’t insist on respect. Humility is an earmark of integrous character. God gives more grace (favor) to the humble (Jms.4:6)
Jesus was a perfect Guest in many private homes and gatherings: it did not matter if His host was a religious pharisee, tax collector, or sinner. He left an indelible mark on each place and person He visited. He was tuned into the needs of His Host. He never left those who received Him the same as when He came. He always left blessings in His wake.
Here are some practical tips for being an extraordinary GUEST:
- Learn as much as possible about your Host and their life before you arrive.
- Arrive with a gift or leave a blessing behind. (It may be as basic as a prayer.)
- Respect the cultural norms of your environment (e.g., time: arrive promptly and don’t overstay your welcome; remove your shoes, etc.).
- Offer to help with any opportunities to serve that may arise.
- Express gratitude while you are present and after you leave.
Become an exceptional Host/Hostess and an extraordinary Guest, and you will continually attract or attain the favor of both God and MenGod and Men.
